If your beloved husband was to joke about getting another wife, how do you feel? Not funny right?
Now imagine its true and your only option is to make peace
with it. Do you know this life altering decision of his can make you gain Janna
or the opposite? It’s not fun, it can’t be, but it’s beyond you. It’s not your
decision or his, you should know marriage is beyond mere humans. By getting
married a person (the new girl) can, by the will of Allah, overcome many evils
e.g. lowering the gaze and being chaste. Allah’s love for us is magnanimous. It
can be that you making the journey from singlehood to being married a smooth
ride for the new wife can be your jihad. You can’t have forgotten how difficult
it was for you to adjust. If you can’t help her adapt why don’t you let her be
instead of making it more difficult for her?
The best way to get respect from her which every ‘first
lady’ desires is to respect yourself first and her second. This will earn you
greater reward and admiration from your husband. Keep in mind that it is not a
betrayal, I repeat it is not betrayal. This is the mindset society gives us but
our Rabb who is just and kind had made it as halal as eating and drinking even
before we were created and guess what? He has written the number of wives your
sweetheart will marry with or without you accepting it. Why not make peace with
it. Instead find a way to cope (which will come as another write up in Sha
Allah).
Hardly any husband wants to be on the wrong foot of his
first wife, not even yours. Make it easy for all involved not for anyone’s sake
but Allah and get the enormous reward just like that. Most ladies fear what the
other lady will come and display but I promise you Allah wouldn’t test you with
a greater ‘burden’ than you can handle. Her coming to display all sorts of ‘craze’
wouldn’t diminish your reward of accepting her. And by Allah He will be your
guide if only you let Him i.e. not fight His will with your limited thinking…
May He be our guide. Feel free to share your thoughts (I’m counting on it) and
comments.
Ps: Don't accept this for anyone like I said but for Allah's sake. It will be easier and more rewarding.
Love, Mariya.
Marriage is all about destiny wether is what you like or not and no one can change that not the wife not even the husband himself.if your husband is destined to go into polygamy then no one can change that.just accept your fate and live peaceful .bcoz that Allah's decree.
ReplyDeleteIt will not be easy though but accepting it is a positive step towards your peace of mind. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
DeleteMarriage is by the will of Allah.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
DeleteTaking a second wife, is just to help the first wife reduce work load and to help the second,third or even forth practice her Deen. All women deserve to be married.
ReplyDeleteGod knows best.
What if the first wife already has helpers, paid help or grown up children?
DeleteIn life, we try to make choices for ourselves but Allah's choice is always best for us. Allah knows why he is allowing the second or third wife to be part of your family. It can be a blessing in disguise. My advise is always remain prayerful and patient and Allah will never disappoint. Thank you
ReplyDeleteYour head dey there😃 that's all the write up suggests. Thank you for sharing.
DeleteGod bless you for this reminder, I hope it will benefit those in question
ReplyDeleteAmen ya Rabbi
DeleteIs very hard for us too see another woman on our husband arms but may Allah make it easy to bear d pain
ReplyDeleteVery true but like you prayed amen ya Rabbi.
DeleteWe are grateful for the reminder, and may Allah grant us with taqwa to endure it as it's not easy. May Allah guide all women towards doing nothing other than khair throughout their staying.
ReplyDeleteAllahumma amen.
DeleteVery well written
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteOriginal contribution
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteNot many speak on this topic enough and handling it in the best way possible...
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work 💜💜
Thank you darling.
DeleteWell written,may Allah guide us.
ReplyDeleteAmen amen ya Allah.
ReplyDeleteALLAH "said if you do justice marriage 2 or 3 even 4 but if you can't justify to them marriage 1
ReplyDeleteThat is true. May Allah help us to be honest with ourselves.
ReplyDeleteAbsurrashid Sabi, u garba
ReplyDeleteTo ai hikenan 🤐
ReplyDelete