If your beloved husband was to joke about getting another wife, how do you feel? Not funny right?
Now imagine its true and your only option is to make peace
with it. Do you know this life altering decision of his can make you gain Janna
or the opposite? It’s not fun, it can’t be, but it’s beyond you. It’s not your
decision or his, you should know marriage is beyond mere humans. By getting
married a person (the new girl) can, by the will of Allah, overcome many evils
e.g. lowering the gaze and being chaste. Allah’s love for us is magnanimous. It
can be that you making the journey from singlehood to being married a smooth
ride for the new wife can be your jihad. You can’t have forgotten how difficult
it was for you to adjust. If you can’t help her adapt why don’t you let her be
instead of making it more difficult for her?
The best way to get respect from her which every ‘first
lady’ desires is to respect yourself first and her second. This will earn you
greater reward and admiration from your husband. Keep in mind that it is not a
betrayal, I repeat it is not betrayal. This is the mindset society gives us but
our Rabb who is just and kind had made it as halal as eating and drinking even
before we were created and guess what? He has written the number of wives your
sweetheart will marry with or without you accepting it. Why not make peace with
it. Instead find a way to cope (which will come as another write up in Sha
Allah).
Hardly any husband wants to be on the wrong foot of his
first wife, not even yours. Make it easy for all involved not for anyone’s sake
but Allah and get the enormous reward just like that. Most ladies fear what the
other lady will come and display but I promise you Allah wouldn’t test you with
a greater ‘burden’ than you can handle. Her coming to display all sorts of ‘craze’
wouldn’t diminish your reward of accepting her. And by Allah He will be your
guide if only you let Him i.e. not fight His will with your limited thinking…
May He be our guide. Feel free to share your thoughts (I’m counting on it) and
comments.
Ps: Don't accept this for anyone like I said but for Allah's sake. It will be easier and more rewarding.
Love, Mariya.
